A Line Allows Completeion, A Circle Does Not

...so my past month in a nutshell...
well march 30th, my mom confronted me with my 'cocaine addiction' she called it, and gave me 2 choices 1) go to rehab and get better 2) be grounded until i move out and they sell my car oh and 'end up in jail' how she put it
i chose rehab, so i had to quit my job, stop going to school for a little bit and travel up to jefferson city to do what was supposed to be a 21 day recovery program on april 5th. althought i only ended up spending 36 hours in there, which doesnt seem like very long at all, especially apposed to 21 days, trust me, the 36 hours was more than enough... it was incredibly unneeded... so i came home late night on the 6th and didnt return to school until the 20th. i have somehow managed to get all my grades, well higher than F's so i can atleast graduate. --moral of the story: drugs are bad, and thats the last time i ever get near them being clean and having the people that i care about and care about me is much more amazing than anything---

in other news steve is amazing... so when he found out i was doing coke he stopped talking to me...incredibly understandable, i dont blame him. so when i got home from rehab we started talking again, the first conversation went something like : 'i started talking to amy again and realized that i didnt want to be with her and it just felt wrong, and i have thought alot about you and so on and so forth, and i want to do this, out in the open and everything.' so all in all it was the greatest thing i had been waiting to hear. things went from there and we got to the point where we were talking an average of 5 hours a day, and calling eachtoher an average of 4 times a day... we went camping a few weekends ago and pretty much stayed in bed the whole time, except for the few hours when stacy and josh showed up, we all decided to pow-wow in her tent and drink, until i ended up drinking a little too much and getting sick.. ALOT, but after that i felt better and other than the rain and the heat and nature it was amazing, just the fact that i got to see him and we got to be together and all that other girly mushy stuff. --oh and were with eachtoher now, which i am hoping lasts a long long time, although no one ever really knows how things are going to turn out, you just have to let me flow...--

i could say so much more about steve, but my fingers would get exhausted from typing and my sentences would more than likely do a bunch of running into eachother, with not a lot of sense made... i have already talked to steve twice today... he might call later.. ha :)
--he makes me so goddamn happy--


"sonja, what's wrong with you? you're acting like some kind of giddy girl... that's not you! this guy must be really amazing to make you act like this. haha." --jake.