The Difference in the Shades

the air was warm yesterday, so we thought we would take connor outside. we thought we would let him explore the outside world which he doesnt get to see to incredibly often. he ran around and giggled and mocked with those tiny little teeth showing. and they were next door, fighting. which doesnt seem surprising, considering the bitch i hear she is. but i suppose it probably put him in a bad mood, which of course it would anyone. i wonder what she was yelling at hime about. i wonder why she thought it a good idea to make him feel so shitty. i would never make him feel shitty, that would be the last thing in the world i would ever want for him. oh god i want so bad to make him happy, happy. and to love his daughter and watch him love her. i watched him yesterday, looking up at me in between statements to her. in between goodbyes and good riddances. i watched him watch me. that little man with that big heart. that big heart that comforted me that night so long ago when i felt alone, when i felt like i was loosing my brother. but he assured me 'no, no, he loves you, hes just starting a family. dont worry he loves you.' he danced with me, and humored me. and for four years watched me grow from a girl into a woman and cared for me in some way all the while.
tonight we are going to dinner...he said he wants to take me out. i am surprised that he is not scared to accidentally run into someone he works with...everyone here knows im mike's little sister...everyone knows how bad that is, to be seen with steve. but hes taking me out anyway...i hope it goes well.